I’d like to think I’ve done my fair share of dating. I am pretty lucky to have found Josh because I had just started toying with the idea of being with someone after having been married to a guy who died way to young, when Josh popped into my life. It was perfect timing.
Now, just because I have dated, been married, widowed and about to be married again and I’m only 32 going on 33, it doesn’t make me an expert on anything at all. But I often wonder why the people I do know looking for love, is having a hard time finding it.
http://rcm.amazon.com/e/cm?t=ylacar&o=1&p=8&l=bpl&asins=0805448853&fc1=000000&IS2=1<1=_blank&m=amazon&lc1=0000FF&bc1=000000&bg1=FFFFFF&f=ifrEveryone is different and they want different characteristics, traits and qualities in the opposite or same sex (yes, I said it, I do have gay and lesbian friends looking for love too). After my experiences in dating I knew what I didn’t want in a guy. I wasn’t so sure though, what I really wanted. I knew three things about what I wanted in a guy: loyalty, honesty and kindness. Simple? Yes…but when you finally think you like a guy, it’s not so simple. Other factors do come in, for example:
- What do you have in common and does it matter?
- Are you both looking for something serious that leads to commitment and maybe a family in the future?
- What habits of his/hers gets on your nerves and could you really live with it?
- How do you both define “being in a relationship”? What’s the timeline?
- How honest are you both being to each other?
- BE yourself and KNOW yourself.
- Then BE honest with yourself about what kind of person you want in your life. Someone to have wild adventures with? Someone to curl up on the couch with? Someone who’s barely there (because sometimes it works for couples)? Or someone who’s there ALL the time? The guy/girl who wants wild adventures, will WANT wild adventures, that person is not the one who will stay curled up on a couch with you for long…What I’m saying is what you see, is what you get, try not to make them into someone they aren’t. It will save you the heartache if you are honest up front.
- Remember there is no formula: opposites attract and are good for each, but people that are alike are awesome together too! Throw out the rules in your head that society has led you to believe make the perfect couple and find someone YOU like. I’ve dated high-strung guys thinking I wanted adventure but deep down inside I’m very low-key and with just a touch of adventure 🙂 Josh is very low-key who’s had his adventures in life…so we are both cool with that. I love how he talks to me about news, issues, etc…most guys I dated in the past didn’t really care about that stuff. Josh is like my favorite comfort food, makes you feel so good and satisfied deep inside. It’s what I want after having adventure and mayhem in my past relationships.
- Think about your last relationship and why it didn’t work. BE HONEST. What did he do wrong and yes, think about what you did wrong and put the two together! Most times you will see that for sure, it was doomed from the beginning, you just didn’t want to see it or believe it. Be sure to make the changes in yourself before you try to be in another relationship.
- Make sure you note down what you didn’t like about your ex and go a different route, choose a different kind of guy/girl, stop being a magnate to the same kind of guy/girl. Choose positivity over negativity, choose honesty over lying, choose happiness over anger, choose commitment over cheating, choose someone who will GIVE rather than TAKE, choose someone who will lift you up rather than degrade you. Choose someone who will stay rather than someone who will leave. Choose someone who will work at the relationship than give up at the first test.