What You Say Matters to Me

Wow…

So a friend of mine contacted me about my post about losing a cousin to suicide.  She said she knew someone who was in trouble too and hope that he is okay, but all attempts to reach him after him saying he wanted to kill himself has failed.  He could be another lonely person who felt no one out there validated his existence.

It’s 9:34pm and I don’t know if I’m going to stay up til midnight.  People are lighting fireworks and Nani-Girl is scared, so I’m holding her and carrying so she can feel my heart beat.  Sky isn’t barking but she wants to be by my side and she won’t go outside to pee.  And this is the year with the fireworks permit…can you imagine how it was for us last year? Ha!  Next year I am going to sedate Nani-Girl, just to give her relief during this night.

I’m watching the final show of the Oprah show (rerun)  and she said something profound:

Everyone wants to be validated.

Everyone wants to know a few simple things.  They want answers to these questions:  do you SEE me?  do you HEAR me?

They want to know that what they SAY matters to someone.  Someone out there.  Maybe YOU.  Sometimes the person your at odds with needs to hear you say:  “What you say matters to ME.”

Light bulb moment…damn, I miss Oprah.

We all want to be validated.  Sometimes when Josh and I are at odds, all I want is to know he “HEARS” what I’m trying to say.  When we communicate our differences he always has the same need as I do.  He WANTS to know that I HEAR him.  That I SEE him, that I BELIEVE what he says.

People want to KNOW they mattered to somebody.  Most people want to be validated by their family members.  You would think having a family means love is automatic.  It’s NOT.  Maybe because some people think it’s automatic, people forget to say it and show it.  Like Oprah says.  VALIDATE.  Tell people, listen.  See them.  Show that you SEE them.

Here are some fantastic quotes from the final Oprah show:

photo credit: Rosary Express

*”There’s a difference between thinking you deserve to be happy and knowing that you are worthy of being happy. Your being alive makes worthiness your birthright. You alone are enough.”

*Everyone has a platform, Winfrey said. “Mine is a stage in a studio. Yours is wherever you are, with your own reach.”

*”I’ve talked to nearly 30,000 people on this show, and all 30,000 had one thing in common — they all wanted validation. … They want to know, do you hear me? Do you see me? Does what I say mean anything to you?” 

*”You also have to know what sparks the light in you so that you in your own way can illuminate the world. You have the power to change somebody’s life.”

 

Some positivity to start off the New Year, right? 🙂

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